You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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