Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
