? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
