so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Randomize
