I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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