please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
honey bunches of taint.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
