If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
