we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
