if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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