Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
