I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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