You really coming over, don't trick.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
