if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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