just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize