Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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