Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
