i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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