dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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