She's JV to your varsity
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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