I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
