The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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