I'm gonna have a badass scar
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We got so high we made milksteak
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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