i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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