I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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