this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
