I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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