I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
