What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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