LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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