I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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