I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize