he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
