That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
