I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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