trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize