is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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