we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
