I have demons in me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
