Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
