another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
