Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
