that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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