gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Boobs are out for the taking
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
