When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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