STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
