I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Randomize
