Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
