i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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