No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
