So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
