And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
