In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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