I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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