i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
