drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
