If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
