that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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