So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
