Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
