put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
worst night to have a conscience
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
