i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I deserve this hangover.
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