your parents love me but you hate me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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