If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
