I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
