If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
