hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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