I wannas sexs uuuuu
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Someone shattered a urinal.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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