Screwed.edu
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
