Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
