I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize