I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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