My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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