wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
