and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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