you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
