Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
