The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
high people should be assigned attendants
love makes seman taste better
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
