The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
