PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
