...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
