dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
