I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
