I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
